I was doing things around the house when, suddenly, I found myself revisiting a conversation and imagining giving a fuller, more loving answer. And since I believe in “better late than never,” I’m writing this little story to offer it to her.
Let me set the scene: I was with two friends, enjoying their precious company and talking about all sorts of things. At one point, one of them told us about a little problem that had been weighing on her mind. She had a friend she had known for many years, but their relationship was very superficial.
Their friendship revolved around a shared interest, although, on his side, there was more than friendship involved. He had told her how he felt on more than one occasion, and she had always turned him down.
So far, there wasn’t much of a problem. The complication was that she had been in a relationship for years and had never been able to tell him, probably for several reasons. First, because she knew about his feelings. Second, because she took shelter in the superficial nature of their friendship, where there was no need to go into those kinds of details.
I know for a fact that situations like this are very common, so I would never blame her for it. At the time, I joked, “He probably sees you as the Virgin Mary—he must worship you.”
Then I thought that he believed unquestioningly in her innocence, while she believed unquestioningly in her own guilt over the lie she had maintained. I’m also convinced that her greatest fear was losing his friendship and, therefore, his Love.
My brief answer at the time was, “Be honest above all else, and you’ll lift that weight off your shoulders.” Though I was also aware that, after keeping a lie going for so long, finding that courage meant looking into an abyss and throwing herself into it.
Now, to get to the point, the answer that came to me at home was this:
“You cannot lose Love. Don’t be afraid. Set yourself free. Tell him the truth. You are surrounded by Love, but you don’t see it. Right at this moment, you have the love of two people beside you, laughing with you, sharing themselves openly—and surely that of many others.
“It is like the air: something you cannot lose, something that goes with you wherever you go, but that you forget about or fail to see.
“A relationship that hides what it truly is makes no sense. It is two people separated by a wall that prevents them from seeing each other.
“Everyone has the right to be fully themselves and to be loved for it. Love is always behind the wall, but it takes great courage to tear it down.”
Good luck, my friend. Be brave!