Two things are very much of the ego: the desire to be special and the saviour complex. Both arise from deep inner lack. Attempts to compensate for an enormous existential void. A painful road leading to more pain. A circle of solitude that tightens, creating yet another dictator. More of the same: more fear piled upon fear, more fleeing, more escape, more dishonesty, more ignorance, more incomprehension.
You always carry a snowball, whether you tumble into an abyss with it or it accompanies you up a hillside. Made of lessons and beliefs, it lifts you up or sinks you even deeper. We are continually fed and prodded with limits, prohibitions, and warnings from those who live by fear and for fear.
For them, almost everything is a threat that must be stopped. Curiously, that very threat is necessary for their coveted role as saviour and for feeding that bewildering inner void, that constant agitation, that nervousness.
And yes, it is true; there is no denying it: it is not easy to have strayed so far and return along a path shrouded in darkness. It is not easy to have been so wrong and understand that it was merely a simple mistake. It is not easy to recognise the simplicity of the things that truly matter and discard those that are empty distractions.
A melody plays: an accordion is opening. Its ends move apart. Something separates them: the passage of time that allows space to open between them. That space, filling with air, gives rise to sound. Perhaps it is that something which, vibrating, unites them across the distance.
Time and space: our dynamic duo. Who could understand one without the other? What could one be without the other? In the blink of an eye, the ends come together again, the contradictions, the opposing poles. “You or me” disappears. The victim and the saviour disappear. And, in the end, only one remains, only God remains…