“There’s something about these words that doesn’t sit right with me,” I think to myself. “They make me uncomfortable, and I don’t know why. My natural response, without forcing myself, is not to want to say them back.”
Now that I know I can connect with myself, I go to the storehouse of ideas, take the folder labelled “I Miss You”, and open it to see what it contains, to understand what lies behind it. I know I’m not made of stone because some words can melt me, others leave me indifferent, and others put me off. If I were made of stone, none of them would stir anything in me.
So, when I open it, I find a question written inside: “What exactly do they miss?”
The file begins to download…
Do they miss someone fearful, a coward, a slave? Someone who was barely free? Is that what they miss? Do they miss a character who is disappearing with each passing day? Is it a trace of the past they are missing?
As far as I know, I was never someone dazzling, just another unlit torch along the way. Is that what they miss? Or do they miss my meagre ability to express myself or extend Love? Could that be it?
I don’t want you to miss something that was so impoverished and barely alive. I don’t want you to settle for so little. If I ran into someone today whom I hadn’t seen for a while, I would want to be pleasantly surprised. I wouldn’t want to see the same person, with the same problems and the same laments.
I would want to see a new spark, a breath of fresh air, a new smile. I don’t want to miss the past. I want to discover what is new. I want to discover what is yet to come. It disappoints me to see everything unchanged; stagnant water disappoints me.
I would like to see a heart a little more open, not a heart with its head bowed, going over its misfortunes, but one looking ahead with its eyes ablaze. And how little I would love that person if this were not the image I wanted to see! How little happiness I would be wishing them!
Remember me, yes! But don’t miss something that left long ago and will never return. Remember me when you want to build something entirely new. Remember me to remind yourself that it is possible.