Every so often, I feel compelled to revisit this idea. Perhaps because it is as complex as the very world it seeks to undo. I think the first thing to understand is that it is not governed by a set of rules. What exactly do I mean by this? That there is no list of rules you can cling to when responding to every situation that arises in your life. This is extremely important because there is a strong tendency to reduce everything to simplistic dogma. Cults and religions have dogmatic elements that seek to subjugate the individual will. And the will cannot be subjugated, because the Son of God must remain forever free.
On the most practical level, this means that nothing and no one should exercise control over you. You do not have to put up with everything or laugh along with anyone’s antics. You do not have to be with anyone or remain by anyone’s side. Everything you do must arise from your own will, learning, and inner coherence. Each person inhabits a different inner world and must remain true to that world and its evolution. They do not have to force it to fit where it does not belong. Forcing is nothing other than exercising control.
The next important idea to understand is that forgiveness is largely subjective. What do I mean by this? That, apart from extreme karmic cases or unexpected events that blow up in your face—very specific occurrences—everything else is purely subjective or depends on your perception and understanding of reality.
For example, two people perceive that someone is treating them with contempt. One may decide to forgive; the other has no need to. What is the difference between them? Learning. And what is learning, or what makes forgiveness unnecessary? It is an all-encompassing vision: seeing both sides of the coin, or, in other words, viewing the situation from outside and above. That is what makes forgiveness unnecessary.
Forgiveness is practised by the partisan—and therefore biased—part of the mind. The part that can see abstractly or broadly does not need it. Moreover, it can act from an understanding of the whole for the benefit of both sides, because it can see the complete picture.
The last idea I would like to put forward is that no one comes into this world as a blank canvas. I believe that is a fallacy. I believe we all arrive with innate tendencies, and that this is no coincidence: they form part of our inner compass and the path each of us must follow. There are very particular preferences and desires that do not change over time because they are part of a person’s innate makeup. Trying to conceal or suppress them only leads to suffering, because it means denying oneself and one’s own path through life.
This is easy to understand: if the world were to function with the internal coherence of a clock, each distinct piece would have to fit into a very specific place. Dogmas and those who believe they possess the truth prevent that reconfiguration of the world through their own bias.